Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
