I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
