He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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