Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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