I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
