Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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