During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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