is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he thought i was a dude.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
