I skipped work to stalk him.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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