Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
