I'm gonna have a badass scar
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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