Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
