I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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