it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
