Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
