I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
