He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
