There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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