so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
