i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
