What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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