OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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