There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
