She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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