P.S. I can't hear my feet
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
