you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
