Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
