i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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