he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
