I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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