i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
