Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
