I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I am available for nakedness
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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