I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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