if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
