i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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