We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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