i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
