Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
