he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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