the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
