Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
