On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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