I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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