Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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