I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
