We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize