I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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