two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
