Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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