covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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